There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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