you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
