that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
