so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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