Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
