I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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