i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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