I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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