No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
