im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
