You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
