dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
