Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
