Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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