im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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