I want to walk on stilts...naked
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
