just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
