i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
