Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Girls should come with a carfax report
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
