how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
