1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize