we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize