so that wasnt chicken after all
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
