Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
