is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
