he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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