either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
