my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
