I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
