Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
