How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
