everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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