we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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