is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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