Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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