Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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