it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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