dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
