I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
did you just send me my own nude
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
