Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
