Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
