Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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