imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
