I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
