Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
