please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
