No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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