I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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