This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
