the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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