There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
