i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
