pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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