thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
