At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My ass is underappreciated
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
